Exploring the Inside

Getting Over Something is sometimes not easy to do when the memories is deeply rooted in the mind. Sometimes it requires tremendous effort, just to forget something, when ironically you forget something effortlessly when you need to remember it... A movie that I personally rated 4 stars out of 5. Why i say that...i should say after watching a few movies that is more or less the same...I think that changing my taste for movies sometimes is not...a bad idea. A show which I guess will stay in my mind for a long time...A quite a nice approach to tell a story. A story that make alot of people relate to personal experiences in the past. A flim directed by Wong Kar Wai which is 王家卫. A director from Hong Kong which is renowned for his artistic movies. Well...i guess that rings a bell when i was on my way up to the theatre...My mind seems be sleeping throughout... Merry Christmas my readers...If there is any... -Synn

Sometimes i feel the need to understand, Sometimes I feel the need to realise, Sometimes I feel the need to think, Reflection... I have been very busy... I forgotten alot of things, I should say I sacrificed alot of things... I have exchanged things that is deared to me the future... Lately I have been thinking, I have sacrificed too many things around me... It is time to make amendments... I was sitting alone in riverine yesterday... I was thinking about my life...my future...my values...my philosophy I am confused...I have traded things...but am I truly happy? I made people happy however the one dear to me is not... I solved the problems of many however the one dear to me is not... I made money so I am happy however the one dear to me is not... Balance... It is quite a hard thing to do... I am again quite confused... quite down... feeling left out... - Synn

I like my sight... I can see things that brings me a variety of emotions... It brings meaning to life as the information of the world surge through my nerves... To the Brain... To my Body... I like my sight... I can do things whatever I like, and it brings me accomplishment... It brings meaning to life as the sense of satisfaction surge through my nerves... To the Brain... To my Body.... - Synn

I was like in this picture in the past. Locked away in my own world. A fish that is looking out at the fish bowl...helplessly... I lived in an enclosure of satisfaction... I was satisfied that this life of mine is the best... The world outside seems to be dark... Seems like a storm is brewing... I didn't want to experience the storm... I feared... The word Death seems to large... I will forever be isolated in my bowl... Swimming around aimlessly... Surviving...Forever... Oh i hate this... -Synn

I was in a class yesterday and we come to this part which they were talking about dreams and goals. Well, i have dreams and i have big dreams. Dreams that may seem incredible and unrealistic right now. I had the difficulty to visualise my dreams in the first place. I have a vague but uncertainty that I can achieve it. The seminar made it very clear that each of these dreams can be achieved with we make it smaller, smaller and smaller. So that each time that we try to achieve the smaller dream we will achieve the final dream in time. Also it sets a clear path to enjoy the journey towards your dream. "Alot of people is only interested in the destination, but forgot to enjoy the journey" I forgot where I saw this before, but it made a deep impact in my own ideas and beliefs. I had thrown everything I know about money, everything I know about the nature of the world. Finally i find myself at a point higher then the past. I was puzzled, i mean i have lost knowledge and yet with

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2007-08-03/singapore-anime-licensor-pursues-illegal-downloaders Allow me to quote from the above link "Odex, one of Singapore's leading distributors of Japanese animation, has begun sending warning letters to parents of users who allegedly downloaded anime without authorization. Odex has been asking parents to discuss their children's behavior with its representatives, and in at least some cases, pay fines of as much as 3,000 Singapore dollars (about US$2,000). Odex's lawyers meet with each person who receives a letter, and decide on the scope and extent of any penalties. Under Singapore law, "willful and significant" downloading of illegal content is a crime punishable by a fine of up to 20,000 Singapore dollars (US$13,000) or up to six months in prison. Some of the anime Odex has licensed include Fullmetal Alchemist , Bleach , D.Gray-man , and Monster . " I am deeply sadden by the fact that starhub is providing

I wanted to do a reply to my darling's blog straight away after she posted her "watever" drink. Oh well I bought "Anything" to go with it but I was blocked with alot of work to post it straight away until after all the busy things has been over. Anyway this is the entry to reply to :P http://goldensummer.multiply.com/journal/item/17/Colourful_monday Lol....just a joke...I hope that she will see this LOL!!! -Synn

I'm sitting in my girlfriend's house writing today's entry...firstly... HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAWN! I'm thinking about today's bbq...it's quite nostalgic. Seems like the bbq i had years back with my secondary schoolmates, whom almost all I have forgotten. Well it was a grouping of new friends for now. A bbq... BBq...maybe it is because i have never had a really good bbq in my life...well perhaps it is because there is never a bbq that is really fun in my life...i was laughing today, smiling and socialising, but it was never...fun... I never really ate in bbqs come to think of it...it was never once that I really ate until I throw up or something. Today there were things that i was pissed off with, and also things that made me laugh truly...and also a negative demostration of Mario Kart DS with changchun and his gf...Throwing turtle shells backwards? Rings a bell to me...and it's really something that I have never done for a long time...it made me...wanted to go ba

Communication is a wonderous thing. Why do I feel that way you may ask. Without communication, nothing can be conveyed from one person to another (other then the person has 6th sense). I was thinking about it alot. About what is happening to my life and to the people around me. I see activities, i see alot of activities. I see money being earned, and why am I still stucked getting my paycheck instead of seeing commissions with tens of thousands of dollars. Frankly speaking, even if I say that i'm numb to such sights because of my stay in a real estate agency, I still feel a slight jealousy. However, it comes with a great price and on the other hand again, is "HOW YOU SEE IT". I found out that I have been using this phrase excessively. Maybe because of my friends, they are using this quite often to me as well. Oh well, tens of thousands of dollars...that sounds too good to be true but the agent has so many hidden costs that i began to feel that..."HEY, wait a minute&q

I have been doing alot of Maths...I believe i have never did so much maths in my schooldays about 10 years ago. It is a nightmare...i mean maths has never cause me so much terror back then then i feel now. I am actually motivated to do it lately...I am glad that i took my maths classes seriously back then...oh well lol.. :P btw, due to the recent property boom, work is terrifying as well. I had never see so many people eager to print things for publicity in my shop before. I am like serving clients madly lately. I was like, hold your horses mate...i believe I made alot of people feel that I am not serious in my job just because I delayed their things abit... Made me quite sad when there are clients that tell me that...I am doing work non-stop to earn such remarks from them...god damn it...but i am not angry. If fact I am thankful to the individuals who made the remark, and because of that I can plan my time better and to satisfy more peoples' needs. It is a good feeling to see all

Don't think that I have forgotten about my blog...I am really finding time to write and also to update everyone about my life. Basically, i am leading a life right now that i never thought possible. Everyday is productive and I am actively working towards my goal. A goal that i never thought possible accomplishing so early in my life. I am thinking so much about life, and thinking so much about what is possible. Yet, I procastinated, i waited too long. At the age of 25 this year, i began to panic about my future. I began to panic about providing to her... I discovered the fact that I am lazing around previously, and although I thought that I am working very hard, but in reality I have accomplished little. To put it in a harsh way, I am wasting my life away. I feel so ashamed of myself, I tell everyone that I wanted to work hard, and yet this is what I am doing? I felt sick thinking about it...god damn it! What the heck am I doing.... A ship is safe when docked in a harbour, but tha

It was a week of super duper busy days. Why do I said that? It is because there is so many things to do and until now I am still experiencing the life where everything is last minute. I had so much to do and there is more work for me to finish within datelines. It is like datelines within datelines. Urgh, starting to hate what i'm doing now... Luckily I have an understanding gf, she looked sad when i tell her that I am going to be busy from now on and may not have much time for her, but i can still afford a sunday for her when we can be alone to enjoy our own company. I must say that i have no choice, maybe i put my dream higher in position than her. I am going all out, even if i lose all my money, i will not regret my actions today. I will continue to make my life harder and harder. No more slurging on things that is not what I need, but i badly need a laptop so i can work while doing other things like, waiting for friend's arrival lol. I discovered that i squandered away like

Another Saturday has passed without an incident. I mean what is the problem with my environment, i just feel bored. I mean there is not a single thing that made me excited. Games started to get boring after a while, oh well not really a while, it was boring only after a few hours. Design used to give me so much happiness, but lately after the design horror for the Congress, it has become a nightmare. It was rushing, pushing. Design should be done without much restriction to timeline, and should be left to be improved to the best. However, datelines has been like 1 day or even half a day. This is ridiculous, they will say that people can do it much much faster then you guys and better. Go on and look for them! Don't look for me, i had enough of such nonsensical datelines. Money is important, but i'm more concerned about my life. Lately a fortune telling machine tell me that I will not live very long. I believe that i should start enjoying my life to the fullest. Well maybe this

Love is all around.... Just missing her, been busy for a long time for work. Just called her, she is sleeping. Just watched a show, a very sad show. Just open irc, quiet chatrooms. Just open msn, everyone is away. Just open photoshop... I'm not missing her anymore... 我觉得人生有很多的挑战，在人生的这一段路，我想与她相伴。 珍惜彼此的感情，珍惜想给她的所有， 不禁让我想埋头苦干。 像创造一个美好的未来，想给她全世界。 呼吸，我没有察觉到，原来自己的呼吸声，可以吸引得到别人。 在那么寂寞的夜晚，我只是想说一声，我爱你。。。 - 沁

Finally got a picture with Peifen...a Dream comes true... Peifen Seems to have a lot on her mind Peifen Listening to a contestant Peifen Posing for a me No no, I didn't go for the audition. It was just that i got wind of a chatter in Spinx going for an audition in PS today. That is why, i'm there! Support Support, and also to meet up with some long lost friends. Alpha, Adeline, Adeline's Friend(I really dunno the name -_-), Ker-er, was there. And later comes cozydevil, smicer and idleger. Interestingly, the day started out pretty nicely as I finally got to see Peifen. Oh my god, she is so cute! Heard from Ker-er that, JiaHui is more cute leh...look like Ayumi....omg!... I should be there earlier... Oh well, I GOT A PICTURE WITH PEIFEN...it felt like a dream came true...oh well, I got to say...i really love her...no offense ar my gf...^_^ Ker-er did a great job getting herself up to the stage, and did reasonably well..hope that she gets into the next round for the auditi

It was a long long time outing with the Spinx People like Alpha and Jay Wu plus another friend...which i forgot his name already, later we have cozydevil and Steady. Oh well...it was fun with pool which i lost like crazy in lucky plaza. It was fun because of all the jokes like what...No brainer Shooter, Trap Shooter and Theory Shooter...what crap. Jay Wu was on fire... We went to burger king for dinner in Far East...and saw like...umpteens of xiao meimei...boring...we are getting old liaoz -_-. Riverrine Drinking. I thought today is friday, and then should have live band, but too bad, it was good friday and the live band was changed to the thursday instead. So sad, so we end up playing Big 2 there with mugs of beer. It was alot of fun...should go pubbing more often ^^... -Synn

My Tiberium Wars Pre-Order Card Launch Party Huge Screen A Shot on the Date Team EA vs Team Shaw...Intense.. I was at the launch party today at 6.30pm to witness an intense fight between Team EA and Team Shaw. It is great. The game is great, the atmosphere is excellent. The community are sporting. They show great responds when a mammoth tank was blown up, or when a sneak attack onto the base succeeded doing huge amount of damage to the base. Ion Cannon is Gorgeous.... Well i got my pre-order card of course, to redeem my copy of the game. To my surprise, it came with so many freebies with the game. The Kane Edition also comes in a metallic casing and alot of extras on a separate DVD. A razor Mantis Mouse Control Mat, a T-shirt, a GDI dogtag (in my case) and lastly a GDI mousepad, which i gave away to my gf's brother, who is crazy over the C&C legacy. The whole day has been restless for me as the anticipation to the launch event grews as each hour passes. It is worth the wait.

I was browsing around in HMV and guess what I found.... YUI! Oh well it is her new singles named Cherry. Easy listening with a guitar solo version of Rolling stars...interesting! Once again the intense cuteness of Yui soften my psycho brain tortured by work. Lol Oh yeah friends...this is the link to my Perth trip.... Click Here It was an enjoyable trip, and it took me a while to filter the pictures to post onto my album. We visited so many places around Western Australia's Perth region. I hope everyone enjoy the photos! Work has been hectic, surprisingly I can still cope. I mean i can still finish what i am supposed to finish even though there are more jobs around. This is something that is worth celebrating. Drink drink drink!!! Shane seems to be sick, hope that she recovers from this devilish weather. I don't remember what lead to Louisa talking about it...oh well SPEEDY RECOVERY! Congratulations to Mai, i can't go over to your wedding dinner. :( I'm really sorry, but

脑筋不对劲 头脑不灵光 眼睛不说话 手脚不协调 心脏真的好重 It is March, i realised that i have forgotten about this page. Things has not been going my way since the start of the year. Perhaps it is because i had too high of an expectation to myself. Today i felt doubly hard. I am deep in financial problems, deep in social problems and most likely the most is about my Health. National Service has been giving me alot of troubles lately, from mobilisations and being a detachment IC, i have been damn busy giving those nuisance people calls and paying house visit. I have lost my passion for a while, and i'm getting it back. I was grabbing it in my dreams yesterday. I am supposed to be asleep now. Demo, wakaranai! Muri desu, Kolewa, Muri Desu!! I don't know what made me wake up and write these, but I am fighting. I want my future back, i want what I am suppose to have now...back! Fiery! -Synn

I had a fantastic day yesterday celebrating chinese new year. It is a day where i meet most of my relatives except for some of my aunties on my mum side because my god-grandfather passed away last year. So according to chinese customs, they are not allowed to celebrate chinese new year and give out red packets. Well my family and I met people which we only meet one time in a year which is the aunties and uncles from my dad's side. Oh well we are not really that close enough, so there isn't much to talk. Other den showing off their jewelleries and their clothes, they are basically suaning each other, if not is showing off how good their daughters or son is. Sickening... Oh that is the dark side of the gatherings, the good side is there are helluva lots of snacks to eat, yeah...i'm gonna have to run 20 laps around the park to burn off all those fats that i have consumed. There goes my plans to slim down...sobz Ang Baos....!!! This year the designs of the ang baos gets more an

Happy Chinese New Year!! I didn't know that this day came so fast, and alas it has arrived!!! Time to get out there and get some ang baos!! -Synn

Oh well, I am not gonna brag about having no time...it is just that...my watch is spoilt!!!! OH well I can still read the time, but the second hand is gone...:( OH well, some history about this watch. This watch is now officially 11 months and 22 days old in my hands and the second hand dropped...-_-. It is a present that my darling has given to me during Valentine's Day last year. I cherish this watch alot, however my job sometimes need me to carry some bulky items and being clumsy, i knock the watch to things quite often...pain pain :(. So today i bring the watch to City Chain and hoping they could fix it, and my worst fears is confirmed....(Lighting Strikes and sound of organ), yes i have to bring it all the way down to the main distributor to fix it. Oh well the shop can send it for me, but I will have to wait until march due to the chinese new year. Jialat... Aiya bo bianz, I shall wait until after chinese new year den send it for repair. Heee - Synn

词曲:tank 将军北方仓粮占据 六马十二兵等待你光临 胡琴诉说英勇事迹 败军向南远北方离 家乡在那美的远方 期望在身上梦想在流浪 肩上剩下的能量 还能撑到什么地方 等待良人归来那一刻 眼泪为你唱歌 在我离你远去哪一天 蓝色的雨下在我眼前 骄傲的泪不敢润湿我眼睛 在我离你远去哪一天 灰色的梦睡在我身边 我早就该习惯没有你的夜 勇敢的面对 赤壁烽火连天战役 只挂掉我们七万个兄弟 长江水面写日记 愿你也能看见涟漪 家乡在那美的远方 泪水背着光安静而悲伤 肩上剩下的能量 还能撑到什么地方 等待良人归来那一刻 眼泪为你唱歌 在我离你远去哪一天 蓝色的雨下在我眼前 骄傲的泪不敢润湿我眼睛 在我离你远去哪一天 灰色的梦睡在我身边 我早就该习惯没有你的夜 勇敢的面对 我试着面对灰色的夜还在眼前 等待良人归来那一刻 眼泪为你唱歌 在我离你远去哪一天 蓝色的雨下在我眼 前骄傲的泪不敢润湿我眼睛 在我离你远去哪一天 灰色的梦睡在我身边 我早就该习惯没有你的夜 勇敢的面对 Love this song so much from Tank...Hopefully everyone love this song as much as I do :P -Synn

I have been blogging quite frequently nowadays. Well i hope that it will continue for sometime. Lol...oh well after a fun time in mindgames yesterday, I went to IMM at 5 Oclock, to watch a famous Taiwan Boyband named Fahrenheit "Fei Lun Hai". Oh well it was scary...SO MANY PEOPLE...omg...i mean if you are a pedophile, trust me, you will love it here...many underage girls, and they are crazy over the 4 Guys on the stage. They sing, dance, and talk to the host Mary which is the host of Yes933. She is dressed nicely as usual. I bet she is quite tired because, not only is she suppose to warm the crowd but also to make sure everyone is not pushing. The scene is quite chaotic. There are people who tries to earn money through the event, and actually we saw a shop which has a direct view to the stage, and guess what the boss did…he said , “For 10 bucks, you guys can stand in my store to watch”. Well, it worked… LOL!!! Some of the Hong Kong fans get in there and stand on a chair

夜深人静的时候，常常会有一些不知名的音符浮现在我脑后。就这样，我有一个习惯，那就是常常哼那不知名的旋律，而开开心心的过着开心的深夜。在王力宏和周杰伦的影响下，我哼的旋律，一天一天的改变。记得在国中的时候，喜欢上一个非常聪明的女孩，她常常会趁课余的时候，拿着口琴随意的玩起来。那美丽的旋律，不不，是美丽的脸孔不知道融化了多少个青春男孩的心。我想，我的心也是在这个时候被融化的。 她的名字我记得很清楚，叫小柔。小柔是个十二月的孩子，在星座上是属于人马座的。性格活泼开朗，而且长得还不错。班上的人都叫她校花，如果问我，我会觉得她一定是校花中的校花，简直是无以伦比。口琴是她的专长，一把普通的口琴竟然到她的手里，会变得如此绝音，简直是天庭派来拯救我们男人的。如果说是仙女下凡，也不足为过。 当年的我，也是一位钢琴神童，想必我也迷倒了不少的女生。哈哈，也许我亦称得上市新加坡的周杰伦。啊！不要吐吗！我没骗你们哟！小小年纪的我，已经在钢琴的造诣上得到了专业老师赞赏。绝对不是夸大口的。那一年，我应为我家搬到了这里，才转学到这一所学校来。第一天上学，我就遇到了这一位校花。 人生地不熟，我就被这个口琴声，深深的迷倒了。 待续 -沁 故事纯虚构，如有雷同纯是巧合。

I was quite interested in playing Munchkins the other day when I was packing up my room and I found the box which gave me so much fun about 2 to 3 years ago back in the army. I was a time which my army munchkin kakis and myself had so much fun playing the monster killing, dungeon exploring, backstabbing game etc... It was also a time which i build-up great friendship back in the camp through the game....(ii desu!) Well after 2 or 3 years from then, jak, teck, kel, me and my gf had fun with the exact same game which made us roar in laughter and also amazed at how we can actually backstab and help each other in a game of survival. It is munchkins all over again in mindgames cafe in boat quay. Basically, we are just learning how to play the game, and it brought back so much memories about my army life, more then I can ever imagine. Although the deck of cards is quite limited with some of the dungeon cards missing, like the bullfrog lvl 18 creature and also the boots of protection which al

Derrick was talking about our incentive trip to Perth today, and it is an exciting thing to look forward to. Well it is planned at 9/3/2007 to 14/3/2007 which means I need to book my RT after this date. I am very pleased to say that my colleagues and I have did a fantastic job for this 3 months and we hit what we are suppose to hit. Fantastic job guys! It is something to be happy about. It took a huge lump of emotions out of my body. I mean I’m slowly conquering my stress. After this huge design job is over, I believe I will be stronger to future things, and looking forward to Chinese New Year! Milo was asking Ang Bao from me this afternoon and I replied with, “I’m not married yet”. Lol, this is so interesting…I mean why I must give ang bao…I should just receive ang bao can le…Lol!! Oh ya…need to give Jay Wu some console. I mean extras in life is quite normal eh~~ Like…not greeting RSM while doing a spot check at the guardroom and is rewarded an extra for it. I mean…the

I was wondering about stress until recently which I have to really deal with it. I mean I have never really felt stress for a long time since I was preparing to go into army. The last time that I feel really, really stressed out and even suffer from sickness which came from stress was when I was ready to be admitted into army. I was terrified, uncertain, I mean which guy won’t feel that way when they are going to go into a place which might not have a single kind soul to help you and all there is was cultural shock and plenty of things waiting for you. Stress management has been part and parcel of my life, and thankfully I have succeeded to prevail every time stress nearly devour the human side of me. However, I snapped yesterday night. I had no idea why suddenly I felt sadness rose from a deep abyss which presuming a storeroom in my heart. I felt terrified, pressurized. The first time I felt for a long time. I was pressurized by my job, my client, peers all at the same tim

I admit that i'm lazy on the web nowadays, but I can proudly say that I'm very productive in the reality! Lol... I'm busy in a series of time consuming things like my work and also indulges like playing DOTA. Well i must say that i'm hooked and I'm playing nothing but DOTA, DOTA, DOTA... like what ervin always say...Duo Da DOTA... -_- Anyway being productive comes with a price...a running nose, a splitting headache, black eye rings...however I'm proud to say that...I'm richer by...just a little bit. I fall off my chair when I'm doing my accounts. All the work for this little money...Maybe I should engage in something which i can make more money...So for now, I have to live on abit lesser...I shall stay at home and Duo Da DOTA for several weekends for now... Anyway i must thank Jesslin for giving me a chance at revamping the design for her posters, i had to go down to their place a few times before the go ahead is given. She is helpful in getting the nece