The Land of Flying Melodies

I always ask myself, what I want in my life. In the past, I really have no idea at all. In fact, I wanted everything for myself. I can say that I am a damn selfish person. Howevery if you tell me what i want today. I start to feel that the things that I want in the past is not what I want now. This tells me that I have changed. I began to like things that is intangible. I like music. I love music. I love to make people feel. I really treasure the ability which I can use my speech to change people's feeling.

I was wondering these days, why am I so pessimistic about everything that I am doing so far. I wasn't like that in the past. I suddenly felt that I'm inferior in terms of everything. Felt crippled...

I was not doing well in alot of things, while people are improving tremendously i felt myself standing still. I felt that i'm not moving at all. Not building constructively. I felt empty... I manage too many things at one time, I end up doing all of them at the same time. I end up not finishing everything.

That is why for this week. I take things in my stride, I felt that life does not involve only work and work and work. There is a need for me to plan, to spend time with my family and friends. Who cares about namecards and design jobs now. As long as i can earn enough to feed myself, that's all. What about performance...

If I have only 3 months of life left, what will I do? Perhaps I might play guildwars until I die. Or I might spend the rest of my savings. I may want to do everything that I had never done before. That is to truly enjoy life, to truly enjoy things without restrictions. To do things without through thinking. To do things without strings attached...

Why am I thinking like that.

Frustrated...

Juggling Life and Love and Work...

The Trinity of Torture...

When is my salvation?

-Synn Signed Off

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