A minute like "Sai"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Naruto_characters#Sai

One of the characters that i found very interesting in the naruto manga...and his sense and also talking without going through the emotional worries that is carried over to the listener...made him the number 1 person to be hated just through a normal conversation...i think it somehow resembles me in real life...

Recently i found myself talking against the flow again, I didn't have the flair to talk "normally" in like in may. I was like...being struck dumbfounded and didn't know what to talk about anymore, or should I say, i am like...unappreciated. I was thinking about some things that was happening, and i thought that this is weird, and there is no logic.

I was surfing the web yesterday when i waited for darling to come online after she went home, and i didn't know what was I typing and I came across this: 


I didn't know but i feel that I was snapping, and didn't know how to react towards certain things, I wanted some things and why did I have to sacrifice so much to gain it. I know that...i have been compromising too much lately, i have been compromising to everyone at work because of their opinions on me and losing my own opinions afraid to people's eyes, I have been compromising to my family by agreeing to things that I don't want to agree to keep the peace. I have been compromising to friends because I am so afraid to lose them if I don't. And after all this i still felt unappreciated...

What the hell am I thinking about...

I dreamt about being alone, in a realm of darkness, there was no ground, no sky and no horizon. It is darkness but somehow I can see my body my hands, I feel cold. There is nothing, it's screwed up, I ask myself why am I in this void. What has bring me here. None of this questions seems to be answered. There is no echo, i shouted but there is no echo, no reply, and the silence is killing me...

"Dull your senses and your mind will be sharp"

I have to wake up, wake up and make sure that I am not compromising on my own welfare, and also cannot be too easy on people, even if it means making people hate me again, I have to do it, it is either they hate me or i feel miserable...i don't care...i want to feel happy again, i want to be jumping around again, i want to laugh, laugh heartily, without worries, without any stress...

"Perhaps you should die"

This is maybe some people who tell me, thee who have no worries at all is a dead person...thee who have worries but is able to resolve it will be a happy person, i will be the latter...

Oh I read from that with a book...

- Synn

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