Mood Swing

I admit that i'm not myself for the week.
I wasn't enjoying myself at all. I get a smile onto my face.
However today I snapped. I didn't know why...but just that I snapped...I shouted, I stamped my feet.
I upsetted someone.
I regretted what i did.
It was over something small and unimportant.
However I still want to say this to her,

I'm sorry

I still want her to understand.
It is not her fault.
I got angry because of alot of things is cramped up in my heart.
I got angry because of failure to understand.
I got angry because of an idiot at work.
It is a sunday that I felt pressure.

That sms from her was tearing me apart.
It read like this "I never want to see u again. All men e same!"
I read it with unusual peace.
I expected it.
I knew what was coming.
She is right to type that.
I shouldn't have gotten angry.
Salvage works have been done.
There is no results.
I hope she will think it over.
One Year of Relationship, One Incident.
One incident which tears both of us apart.

I felt that it is not fair.
I felt that it is not fair to her because I got angry.
Perhaps we are just angry.
I just hope that there is a U turn in this long expressway that we are travelling called life.
I hope that I can do a U turn and prevented this.

Why am I feeling so peaceful?
I have no idea.
Perhaps we needed time to cool.
Chill.
Frozen.
I felt my heart became frozen.
I felt that it is not warm in the first place.

Itunes became an enemy instead of a friend.
Playing my favourite songs.
They made me think about her.
She is so gorgeous in my memory.
The situation seems to be urging me to erase all of this.
I don't want to.
I will not.

-Synn